Roadside sunset.
A creek in the forest.
And just like that my life is broken…
This song was on a T.V. show I watched and when I went online and watched the video I was taken back. This girl gets the pain of being cheated on and loss. Amazing lyrics.
The Conflicted Soul
I have been seeing and talking with my friend for over a year now. This friend I am talking about started off as a boyfriend but we both realized very quickly we made great friends but were not suited for each other as partners. Once we decided this there arose a problem, we liked each other and wanted to remain friends but we were still extremely sexually attracted to each other. Fast forward about a year; we see each other every couple of months and hang out as friends but we have also continued having sex. I love this man and I do truely believe he cares for me very much as well. He has never lied to me about anything and has shown time and time again I can tell him anything. Being that there is a mutual love and respect between us there seemingly should be no problem right? Wrong.
My friend is going to school to be a pastor. He knows that what the bible dictates as moral character is not how he is conducting his life. He struggles with this conflict. He wants to be the perfect reflection of what is right but he also knows that as a human being he has sin. And just as the rest of us he struggles to do the right thing.
I however am at the point that I wonder if my willingness to continue our unconventional relationship contributes to or enables his behavior? Am I helping him hurt himself? Am I even responsible for the personal guilt or repercussions he has to personally deal with? Should I end the physical relationship and if I do will I loose our friendship? Or should I not worry about any of it because I can only be responsible for my own behavior.
It was recently pointed out to me that I shouldn’t continue this relationship by a couple friends. They say I am shorting myself from finding actual love. I am so conflicted. This man knows more about me than anyone…..I suppose I should have this conversation with him. I know that only him and I can define the boundaries of our friendship and how to best support each other. If only this was easier and I wasn’t afraid of loosing someone very important to me.
“What is light without dark? Right without left? What is goodness without the option to be evil?” – Harrison Christian
The Single Person’s Guide to Not Being Sad on Valentine’s Day
A handy list of Do’s an Don’t's!
DO
Wander around your apartment in your underwear. Or, if you’re feeling ‘ballsy,’ completely naked! Your girlfriend was the one who always wanted you to “put some clothes on, for god’s sake.” You thought that was counterproductive–she was just going to take them off anyway! Well now’s your chance to feel those hard-to-reach spots get caressed by the winds of freedom rather than by someone who demands you come to every single one of her interpretive dance recitals.
Found this and it basically describes how I spent Valentines Day. I laughed a lot reading this. Hope you do as well.
10 things I hate about dating.
So if anyone who reads this has any pointers for me feel free to send them in cause I am at a loss. I have been in the dating world for a year now and I have figured out a few things about men, none of which I like.
#1 They seldom will tell you the truth if there is anyway they can avoid it.
#2 If you don’t have sex with them you have about a 50% chance they will call you again.
#3 If you do have sex with them you have about a 50% chance they will call you again.
#4 They tell you who they want to be not who they really are.
#5 They will leave you and never tell you a reason even though knowing would be easier than not knowing what happened. (You found a new girl? Guess what just freaking tell me!!!!)
#6 There is no Prince Charming they are all pretending.
#7 It hurts to fall in love with a friend when you know it will never really be a relationship.
#8 The guys you really like will leave you, the ones you only tolorate will never leave you.
#9 There are too many guys in my generation looking for someone to take care of them!
#10 I am giving up on the idea of finding a match, someone who I can really get excited about….I don’t think they exist.
So do I live in some world of magical thinking where people can actually just tell each other the truth as one adult to another? Am I going to be alone the rest of my life? And when I do die at an old age surrounded by my 14 dogs are they going to alert the neighbors or just eat me cause they got mad I didn’t feed them? Time will tell.
Jar of Hearts – Christina Perri
Sometimes a song can explain exactly how you feel…..
Randy
You made me feel valuable as a human being. You made me feel loved. You let me be part of your little family for just a moment in time and now its gone. The last day I remember together was the beach party. It was the perfect day. Us playing with the kids in the water, the awesome sandcastle we built and walking together down the pier…..I will never forget. I wanted that feeling to last forever. I understand I wasn’t the one for you but it doesn’t make the pain any less. In the time we spent together I felt as if I had found my other half. Now the only part of you I have left are the memories and two pictures I keep in my phone. I think it is best the way it ended. I will never really understand but I can move on. Not answering my texts or phone calls makes it a cleaner break so thanks for that also. I will love the memory of us forever.
Just wanted to share one of my favorites…..
“Arms” Christina Perri
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeW0Sl0tNS8&ob=av2e
I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start
You put your arms around me And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go You put your arms around me and I’m home
How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around? I can’t decide if I’ll let you save my life or if I’ll drown
I hope that you see right through my walls I hope that you catch me ’cause I’m already falling I’ll never let a love get so close You put your arms around me and I’m home
The world is coming down on me and I can’t find a reason to be loved I never wanna leave you but I can’t make you bleed if I’m alone
You put your arms around me And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go…
I hope that you see right through my walls I hope that you catch me, ’cause I’m already falling I’ll never let a love get so close You put your arms around me and I’m home
I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth And I’ve never opened up I’ve never truly loved ’til you put your arms around me And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go
I hope that you see right through my walls I hope that you catch me, ’cause I’m already falling I’ll never let a love get so close You put your arms around me and I’m home
You put your arms around me and I’m home
